A groundbreaking look at the science of attachment and compatibility challenging our most
fundamental assumptions about love and attraction and revealing the real keys to lasting
connection and deeper relationships. “Riveting insights . . . on the idiosyncratic
contingent ways real relationships develop.”— Science Modern media and culture have taught
you a vast array of inaccurate ideas about dating and relationships. Scroll through Instagram
and Tiktok and you’ll inevitably see the influence of a buzzy new branch of
science—evolutionary psychology—at play in videos touting gender stereotypes and spreading a
deeply flawed story about romance and connection. Evolutionary psychology claims that our minds
have been shaped by primal drives that pit the genders against each other from the myth that
men are wired to be promiscuous to the notion that wealth status and beauty are the ultimate
aphrodisiacs. In Bonded by Evolution UC Davis psychology professor Paul Eastwick reveals that
these stories bear little resemblance to how pair-bonding really works. While beauty and
charisma factor into first impressions their influence fades fast—after a few months we
barely agree on who's “desirable.” Drawing on pathbreaking research—including original
experiments from his own lab—Eastwick explains that lasting attraction has from ancestral
times through the present been built through gradual often mundane moments that forge strong
attachment bonds. Ultimately he offers a liberating new paradigm for finding meaningful
exciting relationships showing us: Why the traits we often look for in a partner—personality
lifestyle values and humor—are poor predictors of compatibility and what behaviors and
experiences we should focus on instead Why someone's tendency to “date around” or their
reputation as a player has little bearing on their long-term relationship potential Why the
most secure relationships offer a "safe haven" and "secure base" for each partner and how to
cultivate them in new and existing relationships By excavating the hidden history of human
mating Eastwick paints a radical new picture of the roots of enduring chemistry. Distilling
evolutionary biology anthropology and psychology into accessible insights Bonded by
Evolution explains why we so often choose dating strategies that make us miserable and how to
use a more evolved approach.
