“Perel is a master at what she does.” — The New Yorker “[Perel] knows the depth of your shame
and the vibrancy of your lust.”- The New York Times From iconic couples’ therapist and
bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at
infidelity with practical honest and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair
can rob a couple of their relationship their happiness their very identity. And yet this
extremely common human experience—universally forbidden yet universally practiced—is poorly
understood. Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much?
Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an
affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever
help a marriage? For a decade psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author Esther
Perel traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with cheating.
In this illuminating book she weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and
cultural analysis to provide insights and answers to help couples survive and thrive. Betrayal
hurts but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same
person. Affairs Perel argues have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect
what we think we want and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our
personal and cultural attitudes about love lust and commitment. Through examining illicit
love from multiple angles Perel invites readers into an honest enlightened and entertaining
exploration of modern relationships in its many variations. “Esther Perel is widely
recognized as the world’s leading expert on marriage.”- Sunday Times Style “A fresh look at
infidelity.” - Los Angeles Review of Books “Perel—a whip-smart emotional savant who pierces
through human defenses with the efficiency of a surgeon—is a wonder to behold.”- Huffington
Post “She doesn’t peddle in bromides or offer a shoulder to cry on—she’s too busy trying to
shake you to your senses insisting on your agency your vitality and your complicity in what
happens in your marriage.” - The New York Times “[ The State of Affairs ] explores a vast
landscape of the adulterous terrain . . . in a way that’s deeply humane and never preachy.” -
NPR
