A 2022 LA Times Book Prize Finalist A darkly funny soul-rending novel of love in an epoch of
collapse-one woman's furious revisiting of family marriage work sex and motherhood Since
my baby was born I have been able to laugh and see the funny side of things a) As much as I
ever did b) Not quite as much now c) Not so much now d) Not at all Leaving behind her
husband and their baby daughter a writer gets on a flight for a speaking engagement in Reno
not carrying much besides a breast pump and a spiraling case of postpartum depression Her
temporary escape from domestic duties and an opportunity to reconnect with old friends mutates
into an extended romp away from the confines of marriage and motherhood and a seemingly
bottomless descent into the past Deep in the Mojave Desert where she grew up she meets her
ghosts at every turn: the first love whose self-destruction still haunts her her father a
member of the most famous cult in American history her mother whose native spark gutters with
every passing year She can't go back in time to make any of it right but what exactly is her
way forward? Alone in the wilderness at last she begins to make herself at home in the world
Bold tender and often hilarious I Love You but I've Chosen Darkness reaffirms Watkins as one
of the single writers of our time
