★★★★★ Audrey Haylins 08.06.2023 amazon.de

“I killed a little boy today. Held my hands around his throat, felt his blood pump hard against my thumbs. […] When his face was the colour of milk jelly I sat back on my heels and shook my hands.”-Chrissie, 8Thus reads the chilling opening of The First Day of Spring, a debut so stunning in all its facets as to leave you slack jawed in awe. Ignore the pretty cover and innocuous title. They only distract and deceive. For there is nothing pretty about this powerfully intimate study of deprivation and neglect, guilt, fear and redemption. This is a story that will shock and dismay, prod and provoke, and ask questions that you’d rather hide from than answer.The story is told alternately through the eyes of young Chrissie, the child murderer, and her reformed adult persona, Julie, now living under a new identity and with a daughter of her own.Because of the way the book is presented — dual timeline and narrative — it’s tempting to talk about Chrissie and Julie as if they were two distinct characters. They’re not, of course; the one is the product of the other. And this is an idea that Tucker manipulates with sublime skill.Chrissie is a child who’s difficult to like. She’s feral, cocky and tough, and a bully. But, there’s a reason she’s like this. To all intents and purposes, Chrissie is alone in the world; abandoned by a feckless father and horribly neglected by her mother. Killing toddler Steven fills her with power; a delicious, bubbling fizz of it that replaces the gnawing hunger in her belly.Julie lives alone with Molly, now also 8. After years in residential care, she’s been given another chance. But the deeds of her childhood taint her still. Ever under the watchful eye of social services, she’s trying to be a good mum, to be everything her own mother wasn’t. The thought of failure, and having Molly taken away from her, is utterly terrifying; a bitter irony that haunts her daily.As a reader, it’s impossible not to be drawn into Chrissie’s and Julie’s worlds. To feel sympathy for a wronged child and her wrongdoing, and for an adult seeking to make amends for those wrongs. Chrissie’s first-person voice is especially convincing: bravado masking an aching loneliness and vulnerability.But what truly elevates this book is Tucker’s prose. Sparse, raw, and searingly honest, it conveys so much with so little and left me emotionally spent. What a sensational debut from this talented new author. More where this came from, please.Thanks for reading my review. I hope you found it useful. You can find more candid book reviews on my Amazon profile page.