INSTANT #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER "A practical reader-friendly and inspiring primer on how
to extend true connection and love to others.” — Gabor Maté M.D. New York Times bestselling
author of The Myth of Normal From the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller How to Do
the Work comes this paradigm-shifting guide to healing your relationships beginning with the
one you have with yourself. Relationships have always been essential to human survival. Our
bodies and brains are programmed to seek out connection whether familial romantic or
platonic. And yet these vital bonds are often at the root of our deepest suffering. While our
hearts are primed for compassionate connection our nervous systems—which store all our past
hurts and disappointments—are wired for threat and negativity. For decades leading
relationship advice has maintained that successful relationships require a specific
compromise—that we must change our authentic expression to better meet the needs of others and
vice versa. It may sound reasonable in theory but as Dr. LePera explains this approach is
nothing less than a recipe for a lifetime of resentment. In How to Be the Love You Seek #1
New York Times bestselling author Dr. LePera—whose integrative holistic approach to
psychology has attracted an international audience of millions—offers a new path to healing our
relationships. Harnessing the latest scientific research she teaches us to recognize how unmet
needs from our earliest relationships create our current dysfunctional relationship patterns
and leave us in a state of constant internal threat even with those closest to us. This book
the last in her “How To” trilogy illuminates the way out of trauma bonds and into
relationships rooted in mutual respect and compassion. In it you will learn how to create
safety in your own body and mind identify your unmet needs develop emotional resilience
cultivate heart coherence to build deep emotional connections with others and maintain healthy
interdependence in our communities. Whether you struggle to maintain the kinds of relationships
you want or are facing a specific challenge with a spouse partner parent sibling child
friend or colleague—Dr. LePera teaches us how to break painful cycles and reconnect with the
wisdom appreciation and compassion that lives in each of our hearts. It is our heart’s innate
capacity to love that is the true source of all healing. When we tap into that power we can
become the love we seek. Complete with stories exercises journal prompts and other practical
tools How to Be the Love You Seek offers a healing roadmap for all generations of
cycle-breakers.
